The Pedophile's Guide Dropped by Amazon

I guess Amazon either got sick of people complaining or decided that this book didn't abide by their terms of service.
Here is an article about the removal of the title.

It is interesting to note how quickly Amazon responded. I don't think anti-censorship groups need to worry too much. I don't think this is likely to get classic literature like Lolita or other "objectionable" books taken off the shelves. It may make companies like Amazon more likely to vet new titles with questionable topics a little more closely. Especially self-published books, since they don't have a publishing house with a legal team behind them. Also, truly objectionable or legally ambiguous books generally won't get picked up by a publishing house, since the publisher weighs the risks and benefits of public backlash and legal ramifications more thoroughly than an individual does.

The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure

I found this on Jenna Glatzer's blog (which is awesome and you should read, by the way!): The Pedophile's Guide.

I guess this self published book on Amazon has the intent of (in the author's words): "This is my attempt to make pedophile situations safer for those juveniles that find themselves involved in them, by establishing certian rules for these adults to follow. I hope to achieve this by appealing to the better nature of pedosexuals, with hope that their doing so will result in less hatred and perhaps liter [sic] sentences should they ever be caught."


I am what many would consider a "bleeding heart liberal", but I certainly don't extend this compassion to pedophiles that try to say pedophilia is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality and homosexuality. In my opinion, if someone isn't old enough to understand the ramifications of sexual intercourse they aren't a willing partner in a sexual relationship. Especially not when they are preyed upon by adults who often use guilt and threats to keep the "relationship" secret.

It's akin to saying someone who's been slipped rohypnol is a willing partner while they are unconscious and being raped. It's just a "misunderstood sexual orientation".

That's not to say that I'm not compassionate to people who are pedophiles or have pedophilic thoughts who seek treatment. I think it is a mental illness or a grotesque behavior that manifested in individuals who were molested themselves. That doesn't mean that I condone their behavior. I just acknowledge that if they know they have a problem and seek help they should have access to help and a support network to keep them from acting on their thoughts.

Anyway, I thought the book and the fact that Amazon is keeping it available was worth passing on. I wonder if they'd keep a book called The Rapist's Guide to Love and Pleasure available?

Easing Back to Normality

It's amazing how much prescription medication can alter your thoughts and emotions. Since weaning off of Lamictal I am no longer having urges to buy things I can't afford; having randomly timed, but frequent cravings for Jack Daniels and Coke; super-jittery anxiety for hours on end; and an inability to sleep until the wee hours of the morning. This is undoubtedly a good thing. Now I'm actually able to get some things done with consistency.

I'm happy with being closer to my personal "normal" but I would like to get my thoughts and emotions under control.

Super Anxiety Extravaganza!

My doctor and I have been fiddling with my medication to try to get better results. However, the current state I'm in is not so good. I've had mild to moderate panic attacks, constant low to medium anxiety, and super-energetic, motor mouth spells for the past several days.

The past couple of weeks I had a constant, low level anxiety and jitteriness. I feel like something bad or nerve-wracking is going to happen, but I know that I'm not expecting anything like that to happen. It's a similar feeling to when I had to give speeches and I anxiously anticipated getting in front of the crowd to talk.

Except at least then I knew why I was nervous and it went away after the speech was underway.

I'm also annoyed by the number of well intentioned people who tell me I don't really need medication. I'd be fine without it, they assure me. I know they are only trying to help, but it's frustrating when people think that mental illnesses aren't real. Depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other mental conditions are real. They shouldn't be relegated to hushed conversations and shameful, embarrassed discussions. If you are diabetic, are you ashamed to let people know? If you have a heart condition, do you try to avoid discussing it for fear of scorn or embarrassment? If you do, you shouldn't. However, most of the time physical ailments (probably with the exception of STDs and juvenile teasing about glasses, braces, etc.) aren't a source of ridicule and shame. As it should be.

However, mention mental illness and everybody gets uncomfortable. They either think/act like it isn't reall, get embarrassed, clam up, or some other non-productive action.

If I could just "not think like this" or "get over it" because it's all in my head, don't you think I would have by now? Contrary to what some think, I don't enjoy being depressed, anxious, irritable, and miserable. Unless there is a reason for these emotions (due to the regular stress and disappointments of life), I often don't have control over my emotions. They tend towards dark, depressing feelings. They happen out of the blue sometimes.

Imagine not knowing when or why the next time you are going to start sobbing uncontrollably would be like. Imagine having furious rages for no good reason, or becoming ridiculously irritable over every little thing.
That's what life without medication is like for me. And many other people as well.

I don't want pity or any stupid thing like that. I'd just appreciate not being treated like I'm a melodramatic crybaby because I refuse to "act normal" or "get over" things. See if a diabetic person can just get their insulin production under control and stop "whining" about all their diabetic pains and problems. Tell the person with clogged arteries that they did it to themselves, so they just need to deal with it and quit having chest pains. It makes just as much sense as a person with a mental illness to "act normal" or quit moping around.

You can believe it or not, but until you've been in a similar state of mind for months or years you won't truly know.

At least venting has eaten up a little bit of my anxiety and I am actually starting to feel sleepy. Hopefully slumber will arrive soon. Goodnight...