Bedtime

Personally, I love sleep. I think maybe there is something wrong with me because of how I can sleep just about all of the time. I could sleep all night (not that I do that every night, due to interruptions from the kids or my stupid IBS causing me issues) and then sleep most of the day. Happily. Sure, once I've finally sated my sleep lust (usually somewhere over the 12 hour marker--achieved via multiple sleep sessions) I feel like a wasteful loser that has accomplished nothing. Still, I love me some sleep.

My kids, on the other hand, do not have my affinity for slumber. I didn't as a kid either, but now as an adult I see the error of my ways. How can you not love sleep?!

However, with their autism-related sleep issues they've had extreme insomnia at times. Even with the aid of sleeping medications. We've tried ambien, melatonin, espom salt cream, benadryl (under a doctor's advice!), clonidine, klonipin, diazepam, vistaril, and some others I can't remember the names of. We are currently using clonidine and hydroxyzine (a prescription antihistamine). It seems to work most of the time, though it still can take 2-3 hours for them to fall asleep. This is much better than taking 6-8 hours or more to fall asleep (if at all). There have been several nights when they never fell asleep.

They just don't want to go to sleep. They actively fight it. Sometimes if they sense that a medicine is making them drowsy they will use all of their will power to fight it off. Even if that means hitting themselves or doing bed acrobatics.

I sorely wish that I could lend them some of my sleepiness. Especially right now. I have a feeling it's going to be a long, long night.

Why Vajazzling Makes Sense for Women

I sometimes think I live in the wrong socio-economic class. I mean, I love sparkly crystals. I'm sure I could use these totally useful items:

Swarovski Crystal crusted toilet (a steal at $130,000!)

$1500 Etch-a-Sketch--covered in, you guessed it-- Swarovski crystals

So, I was thinking: it was only logical that we (I'm speaking for ALL women here) started putting these shiny bits on our vaginas. I mean, really! If an Etch-a-Sketch is normally only worth about $7-$18 and a toilet is normally about $100-$600, think about the mark up the crystals would add to my vagina! If an $18 Etch-a-Sketch becomes a $1500 product, and a $600 toilet becomes a $130,000 product... You see where I'm going with this.

If I had to place a value on my vagina, I can instantly increase that figure by roughly 83 to 216 percent! Think about it ladies, where else are we guaranteed that kind of return? And I don't see why it can't work for guys as well. Though I'm guessing they might be a little more squeamish about such things (bunch of wussies!).

You generally either pay for a Brazilian wax and get a free Vajazzle thrown in or you pay up to $100. (Yep, I learned that from the Vajazzling FAQ page! Yep, there is indeed such a page)

Take your time ladies. But in this economy, can you afford NOT to get Vajazzled?!

More Fun With Depression!

Another thing that I've been doing lately is being a complete smart ass in my head. I often refrain from saying the things I think, because I know I'm in a bad mood and nothing productive will come from me airing my unfiltered thoughts.

Sometimes no provocation is needed. I've just become a very sarcastic, snarky, mean spirited person in my mind. It's almost a compulsion. I don't even think or plan out my thoughts on this subject; rather they "pop" into my head. This could be my OCD (which yes, a doctor did tell me I have mild OCD, so I'm not trying to be witty or something by attributing my bitchiness to a diagnosis I don't have). Usually it is very disturbing images that pop unbidden into my mind, but I suppose that sarcastic and/or mean remarks compulsively popping into my head could be a part of that as well.

Anyway, here's one remark that popped into my head today. Someone I know posted a comment on Facebook about how they'd "get a babysitter for that", as if she would only get a babysitter on a rare occasion or for really important events. I thought to myself, "Oh, like the time you got a babysitter to go fuck a guy you'd met a couple of times?" Because that's important, my friends. It shows strong character and parental skills. She even had someone to come over and dye her hair. Because we all know that a dude who wants sex from you will really give a damn about whether or not your roots are showing.

My mind then creates other dialogue, in a bit of a southern accent, "I won't leave my baby for just anything. It's gots to be real important like. Mommy needs her sex. That's my 'me' time. I gotta take care of me baby."

Ah, I'm just a jerk. What can I say? A bitter, sad jerk.

So Very Tired

Despite the fact that I've been sleeping a lot lately, I remain tired. I've opted for sleep over many things that I could have or should have been doing the past couple of weeks. Instead of going to the gym many mornings, I slept (though to give myself some credit, some of the time I was feeling horribly sick). Instead of running errands, cleaning the house, looking for work, or doing college assignments, I slept.

Now, you may be thinking, "Geez, you're a lazy ass," or "Why are you complaining about sleeping so much," or some other thought along those lines (or not, I can't predict everything one might think). Regardless, I'm talking about sleeping so much because I have no will to do anything else lately. I don't want to do anything. So I sit on the couch like a lump until I get sleepy and pass out. Then I'll sleep for hours. Even if I slept all night, I can just about sleep all day.

I have no will to move or do anything. I think about moving, but I don't do it. Even if I'm uncomfortable from being in the same position for so long, I don't move. I just think, "Ow. My back (arm, leg, etc.) really hurts. If I shift my weight or get up and move it'll stop." Then I sit or lie there until I fall back asleep.

I'm pretty broke, having just lost my main source of income and all. I'm depressed about life in general. For many of my problems I don't know what to do to fix them. So I simply exist, taking up space.

I can function, albeit it very slowly and by doing only the minimal amount of action. After wasting most of my day with sleep a sort of anxious panic sets in. I freak out that I've wasted time. Valuable time that I can never get back. Then I go into a sort of hyper state of running around doing as much as I can.

Then, at the end of the day, I vow not to do it again tomorrow. Guess how that story ends. If you guessed I do the same damn thing the next day, you're right.