I understand the point they are trying to make, but that line cracked me up. It also reminded me of a time that a friend and I were at a McDonalds at a mall, and there was a life-size Ronald McDonald statue sitting on the bench by the restaurant. A little boy was sitting there all happy with his food, mumbling to himself. I wasn't particularly paying attention to him until I heard him sing this little gem, "Old McDonald said a nasty word." Even though this had to be 14 or 15 years ago, I remember it because I wrote it in a journal that I had bought at Walden books that day. I still have that journal, mostly blank still. Anyway, it was one of my many "random" journals that I wrote little snippets of things I thought were interesting. I wrote what I thought "Old McDonald" might have said that was nasty too: Old McDonald said, "F*** you, kids!" Except I didn't use asterisks in my journal.
This sounds like the work of a PR firm. Who else would think to call slavery "Atlantic triangular trade". Nice, non-threatening euphemisms for horrible things. Killing the natives for their land? It's just a little campaign we did called "imperialism...um, I mean 'expansionism', yeah that's what I meant, expansionism." Like Texas wasn't cranking out enough socially conservative ideologues...
When I was fourteen I was diagnosed with asthma. While in the ER, several doctors, nurses, and respiratory techs came in to listen to me breath through a stethoscope. One of the people said something like, "Let me listen to those famous lungs." Which I presumed to mean they had been talking about how bad they sounded or something.
Backing up a bit: for about a full year prior to this ER trip I had been experiencing a dry, hacking cough that would often come in fits that only stopped when I started to gag from coughing so hard. My sister and mom thought that I was doing it on purpose to gross my sister out; seriously, I'm not that spiteful or ambitious, people.
Anyway, I was asked several times if I smoked. I know some people smoke at that age or even younger, but I thought it was ridiculous that they asked me at the time. They seemed to think that only smoking would make me sound that bad.
I also had bouts of heavy wheezing, usually after I would be hiking or being active. I hated the sensations that accompanied wheezing: a deep itching sensation in my lungs and throat; a hot or burning feeling sometimes, which also was deep in my lungs; and of course feeling short of breath.
Anyway, back to my famous lungs. I had some breathing treatments, a steroid shot, and was given an inhaler and sent on my way.
For the most part I didn't think my asthma was serious. I had a friend whose brother was hospitalized with asthma attacks, and he also took an albuterol and a steroid-containing inhaler. I've always had a penchant for comparing myself to others, whether or not an accurate parallel could be achieved. Thus, I thought, mine must not be that bad.
Really, over the years I've had huge amounts of time where I didn't have wheezing or "attacks", but looking back I probably did suffer from shortness of breath. I generally wrote that off as being out of shape or getting over a cold.
Today, I went to an allergist. I was given the dreaded spirometer test that I'd performed so poorly on sixteen years ago. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten any better.
So I was given two puffs of Symbicort, waited twenty minutes for it to kick in, and then I was tested again. No change.
Next I was given a breathing treatment. Twenty more minutes went by and I was tested again. Still no improvement.
The doctor told me that since I've had asthma for so long that I could have "restructuring" of my bronchial pathways due to scar tissue. This damage wouldn't respond to a bronchial dialator, which my lungs didn't.
I saw him write "COPD" on one of my chart pages and he ordered several blood tests for immune system function. He didn't say that I had COPD, but from the tests he ordered, the way he described what he thought my lungs were doing, and the fact that he wanted to prescribe me Spiriva (my insurance doesn't cover it and I can't afford it out of pocket), which is a COPD drug, I'm guessing he thinks that I have it.
I hope not. I started reading about it after I got home, and it doesn't sound like fun at all. One source said it is rarely diagnosed in people under 40. All sources agreed that nearly 90% of people with COPD smoke cigarettes (I don't).
I'm hoping that my asthma is just similar enough to warrant the further testing.
I feel for my fellow migraine sufferers. Up until this past week I had what I now think of as "baby" migraines. They were unpleasant, nauseating, head-pounding painful and dizzying, but they only lasted a few hours. Last Tuesday I had an MRI for my lower back pain and within an hour I had the start of a nasty migraine. It was a little different than the others I'd had before. It began at the base of my skull and radiating down my neck. Then it started in with hammering force behind my eye sockets and forehead. I became very nauseous and dizzy. I searched online and found many people with similar complaints. Pretty much all of the people reported being back to normal the next day.
Wednesday morning I woke up with the head pain gone, but I was still dizzy, nauseous and had an awful pain at the base of my skull and down my neck. Around 4:30 pm the migraine came back. After that all symptoms stayed until around 5 pm Friday when I was put on a four drug combo at the ER.
I was relieved to be rid of the pain, but a new problem arose: I was in and out of consciousness and having an anxiety attack because I couldn't move my limbs. When I finally could move them it was only my legs. My hands didn't work. My face was itching and I was freaking out because I couldn't move my hands to scratch at it.
For some reason the registration person came in to have me sign paperwork and get my insurance info after I was pretty well drugged. I think I managed okay, but I felt myself slurring words and repeating myself.
I dread seeing the bill that comes from this, but I couldn't take it any longer. I suppose I should have given up earlier and went to my doctor. I kept hoping that it would just go away, but it didn't.
I woke up today (Saturday) feeling really light-headed and weak. I felt like I had a mega-bad hangover. Then around 3 pm my neck/base of skull pain came back. : (
I'm hoping it doesn't turn back into a full migraine. I'm worried though because a menacing throbbing pain is already creeping back behind my eye sockets and forehead.