Stress and Appreciation

This past week (almost exactly the past seven days down to the hour) has been so stressful and emotionally draining. I had a family emergency medical situation that totally stressed me out and freaked me out. I've never been so scared of a situation before.

Everything is fine now, but the whole experience just sort of wiped me out. Now that everything is settling down I have to try to make up for lost time. I've made very little money this week, which is only stressing me out further.

I'm posting now because I don't seem to be able to focus on my writing. I guess I am hoping some unstructured writing will free up my mind (or something--I don't really know).

When bad things happen, I get a huge sense of how I should appreciate life more. I feel awful that I'm a big complainer most of the time when I have lots of things to be grateful for. I've tried to change and become more optimistic, but it doesn't seem to work. My mind always veers back to the gloomy, unhappy things in life.

Anyway, I can't really concentrate on just writing whatever comes to mind either, it seems. Hopefully I'll get more focused soon (or I'm going to continue to be broke! and that certainly isn't good).